Disappearing act

Not doing too well. Back home with my mother. Every word she utters cuts like a knife and I am in tatters. The tears just come instantaneously as if on cue. As much as I am working on letting go of the pain there is an endless reservoir of hurt, disappointment, anger and sadness. I believe I started out loving my mother, but the affection was squashed by the pain she kept inflicting. Now I just feel devoid of any love for her. Is it any wonder? Perhaps there is no relationship to salvage as it never was a healthy mother-daughter realtionship and maybe it is time to just let it go. I wish I could just disappear.